How to cook yourself dinner in 25 easy steps

1. Walk into the kitchen and announce that you're going to make yourself dinner.
2. When your husband asks if you need any assistance assure him that you're feeling great and he should just stay in the living room and relax. Ignore his skeptical glance.
3. Open up the fridge and realize you don't have all of your desired burrito making supplies.
4. Send husband to the store to pick up hot sauce, sour cream, guacamole, and root beer.
5. Hobble back over to the couch.
6. When husband returns from the store glance up at the door.
7. Hobble back to the kitchen - once again reassure your husband that you don't need any additional help, the store thing was a total fluke.
8. Ignore husband who's decided to stay in the kitchen to supervise.
9. Open fridge.
10. Realize all of the things you need are on the bottom shelf where you can not reach them because you can no longer bend your back.
11. Look up sheepishly at your husband and ask him to grab the tortillas, onions, and peppers for you from the fridge.
12. Pull out cutting board and knife.
13. Ask husband to dice the vegetables he's just removed from the fridge.
14. Open cupboard. Attempt to use your telepathic powers to float the saute pan into your hands.
15. When that fails ask your husband to get you the saute pan.
16. Place pan on stove, add oil, light burner and place veggies in pan.
17. Ignore the shooting pain.
18. Begin sauteing veggies.
19. One minute later realize that you should listen to your back that is screaming at you to lay back down NOW - he's a lot more reasonable than you think he is.
20. Hand spatula to husband and hobble back to the couch where you lay face down on top of every pillow you own.
21. When your husband asks you how sauteed you want your vegetables, respond, "until they smell right" consider this a valid response refuse to elaborate.
22. Give husband step by step instructions on how to assemble your burrito, even if he doesn't ask for them.
23. Accept plate from husband with a combination of grace and humility.
24. Realize that you cannot eat a burrito while laying face down on the couch, send husband back into kitchen for a knife and fork.
25. Feel proud that even though you are on bed rest you are still independent enough to cook your own meals.